Should I (not) have done that?

Moral dilemmas on a trip to IKEA.

Actions speak louder than words, they say. Or is it true that the mere thought of sinning is a sin in itself, as some maintain?

All day long we make decisions, most of them tiny, some a bit bigger. It's a bit like that curtain rail that I bought at IKEA today: from the railing you hang rings and to those rings you attach little pegs that are supposed to hold up your curtain. Whatever you decide to hang from each little peg becomes part of a bigger whole, the fabric of your life.

It started as soon as I came in. I hadn't had breakfast, as I was anticipating having one of those cheap hotdogs at IKEA. Was that wrong? Should I have had breakfast at home? It soon got worse. "100 % chicken", it said. What does that mean? I don't really like chicken and the word 'free-range' was nowhere in sight, so it's most plausibly the offal of some broiler chicken. But my growling stomach got the better of me. I added some pickles from the self-service counter, decided it was too much, so swiped some back onto the heap. Wrong again?

After gobbling down the tasteless sausage, I made my way to the food section. It was my purpose to buy some 'caviar' for a Russian party. Of course, I would empty the little jars in a nice Russian bowl and stick a beautiful spoon in it. Nobody needs to know it's not real Russian caviar, right? When pressed, I will admit where it came from, but I'm not going to volunteer the information. Deception? But it all adds to the illusion of a Russian party. Illusion, since we're not actually in Russia and few Russians will attend. So, no harm done. Right?

But my biggest challenge was yet to come. I had selected a few items and made my way to the self-service check-out. It said that there were cameras to keep an eye on the proceedings and that there might be 'random' checks to see if you'd paid for everything. A little pillow didn't have a label, so I couldn't scan it. I dropped it back into my trolley and paid for the rest. I had also clicked on 'paper bag', but the lady next to the gate said they were all out and offered me one of those big blue plastic ones instead. Part of me thought: "Ai, plastic, not good." Another part thought: "Bingo! The plastic ones are more expensive, so profit for me!" I took the bag. 

Meanwhile, I realised that my conversation with the woman had taken her attention away from what was in my trolley, including the unpaid pillow. She even helped me open the gate. I felt a certainty that nobody was going to check me now and that I had got away with it. Theft! Haha! And then the most horrible thing happened... Somebody stopped me. It was that stupid voice in my head that said it was wrong. "But IKEA is an evil multinational that won't even notice the disappearance of one little pillow," I argued with my better self. 

It's not that I've never stolen anything. Maybe I've become a bit of a chicken myself (though I hope I won't come back as an IKEA hotdog in my next life). I handed the pillow to one of the cashiers and left, feeling both good and bad.

On my way to the metro, I had one of the 'Wild' snacks (made from Moose and Elk) I had also just bought. It consisted mainly of pork. Serves me right, I guess.