The Days of Lockdown - Day 17

2 April 2020

Day 17 – Grounded

Here we all are, at home, most likely in front of a screen, at some undefined time of the day and we’re not supposed to go out. We’re grounded. Because we’ve been bad - or so some people say. We’ve been neglecting our duties; we’ve been shirking our responsibilities and now we have to stay put. We’ve been messing up the very ground we walk on, we’ve run the climate, nature, our own physical and mental wellbeing into the ground. Our plane has been literally and figuratively grounded; our ship has run aground.

OK, I’m sure you get the picture (while perhaps also wondering whether I wrote all this without the use of a thesaurus). Everything has ground to a halt. So, what’s the best way forward? Ah, there is none. Well, maybe one: becoming grounded. Wait, what? Yes, grounded. As in the sense of being sensible, down-to-earth (seriously, did she use a thesaurus?). While our heads are spinning with incessant Covid updates and frustrations are rising, this is a perfect moment to get grounded. To feel the earth beneath our feet, to breathe slowly, in a more natural rhythm, and listen, really listen. We’ve not had time for this, but now we do!  

Today, I gained some ground in this area by getting my hands into the ground (I know, I’ll stop soon, I promise). I got some little pots and bags of dirt, some seeds and natural fertilizer and planted some vegetables, which I hope to nurse in my windowsill and grow on my balcony. Getting one’s hands dirty is such a calming thing to do. Every day I will check to see whether the soil is still moist enough, whether there are any signs of tiny stalks shooting up from the earth. It will be a slow process, just like it will be a slow process to get out of this corona crisis. Hopefully, by the time the outbreak is over, and we can break out of our confinement, the plants will be big and strong and so will we.

We will be like Maximus, grabbing some dirt and rubbing it in our hands, getting ready to face our challenges. We will kiss the ground of our new-found, new-invented land. And hopefully, we’ll be more down-to-earth about what we can and cannot, should and should not do. Ah, I see my head is still in the clouds: I need more grounding! 

Today's installment is dedicated to Jade Wah'oo Grigori for his inspiring cup of tea!

The Days of Lockdown - day 15

31 March

Day 15 – Lethargy

This week, I’ve not felt very motivated to get out of bed, plonk myself in front of the computer screen and throw some motivational blahblah at my students. The students themselves also seem to lack enthusiasm, umph, joie-de-vivre. I’ve been putting off writing this blog for a couple of days, because do my 11 readers really care? Yes, if you’re reading this, you make up 9% of my readership, so my deepest gratitude to you for taking the time! But then, I remind myself that I am writing this lockdown journal mostly for myself, to keep sane, to keep track, like marking lines on a prison wall. This is the stage of lockdown I knew would come, but was least looking forward to: lethargy.

The students and I do a choreographed dance. We all know the moves; we’ve rehearsed them beforehand. We take all the steps, but with minimal effort, to create a sloppy version of normalcy. We all know that none of this matters. Is it really important to analyse the imagery in the balcony scene from Romeo & Juliet? Of course not, but most of us play the game, do the dance, because we’re not sure what else to do. This is the dangerous stage.

Lethargy can turn to apathy and grow into depression. What to do? The ‘normal’ school stuff just won’t do anymore. In this, I see a glimmer of hope. The kids were most animated when we were simply engaging in conversation, talking about what things might come. Tonight, the PM announced that the measures will remain in place until at least the end of April, maybe longer. That’s four more weeks of ‘Distant Learning’. I’m going to have to come up with something helpful, something these youngsters might find useful in their current situation, something communal, something fun.  

Many nights during this lockdown, I look up through my roof window and see stars. When was the last time we could see so many stars in this city? I lie very still and try to tune in to the hum of the universe. What is it telling us? I feel there is an answer stirring deep inside me, but I can’t catch it yet. If I find it, my dear 11 readers, you will be the first to know!